Higher Logic II

Personal Journal of Head Researcher J. Peters, PhD. – ACN (authority/clearance number) 2540


Overview:
Expose 4 participants to hallucinogens in an attempt to “relax” their minds into a state of higher understanding.
Goal:
Revise the Golf-Ferm trans-dimensional path equation. The occasional disappearance of ships between Rings has prompted desire for “a more airtight (sic) set of numbers for our pilots.”



Day One. Well, we got the go-ahead to start the project. I’m a little bit surprised, to be honest; the Chairwoman must have REALLY wanted ship loss mitigated, because even to myself, the idea of drugging a bunch of physicists so they can understand higher logic seems ridiculous in retrospect. I think that PR might be the main contributing factor in the secrecy this project was assigned, and with a goal that includes the word “hallucinogens” next to the phrase “a state of higher understanding,” I’m honestly not sure I want this project attached to my name. I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, though, and we’ve already got approval, so we’re going to go ahead with it. I’ll revise the wording later.
Staff will consist of me, two teachers, four anesthetic specialists, and a general medical officer; the results of these experiments will be broadcast via “slew” (super-luminal) relays. All names can be found in the official record – I’m not going to spend the next 10 minutes typing them into my journal, and I’m honestly probably going to forget them anyway when this is all over. They aren’t nearly as important as the participants are.
Construction of the facility is already underway. I had the good fortune of being assigned a time slot with a moderator on mining world 77 – her name is June. She and her AI, Thirty-Eight, scanned the nearby mines for a viable building site, and we’ve been situated about 70 miles below the surface of an old iron hole. June will also oversee the “slew” communications.
The trouble is going to be finding participants. We’re picking from a very narrow field, here – the participants have to be male (estrogen appears to bond to the hallucinogen) and have absolutely NO chemical history, not even alcohol; we don’t know what effect the hallucinogen will have on a non-ideal brain. I actually did put in for a moderator to join, but their importance has been made clear to me in no uncertain terms, and I’m afraid that the fabled “world-movers” won’t be joining us for this project. I suppose that’s just as well.

Day Eight. I’ve supervised construction for the first time. It’s going to be a relatively small place; just a few storage tanks, some chairs, sleeping chambers, kitchen, common room, and other amenities for living. I made it clear that the facility’s construction was to be kept quiet, but I wasn’t aware of the extent the moderator would go to fulfill that request – no humans will be involved at any point in the building of the facility. I must admit it’s a bit unnerving to see power-rigs at work without anyone inside them – a thousand miles away there’s a 22-year-old girl and an AI controlling them remotely. They are, however, undeniably effective workers, and appear to be ahead of schedule by a factor of three. I’d ordinarily be elated with any form of bonus time, but this is such a rapid advancement of schedule that I’m certain an error has been made somewhere. I’ll look over the project timeline tonight.

Day Nine. There wasn’t any error – June was just handing off control of the power-suits to the other two moderators when she disconnected from Thirty-Eight to sleep. I’d planned for eight-hour workdays, but the moderators have kept the power-rigs running 24 hour shifts. This is an unexpected boon; I’ve submitted messages of thanks to them. No reply.

Day Thirteen. The facility is complete. I’d allocated 45 days for the construction; results like these are unprecedented! Candidate searching can now begin. June has introduced me to five potentials for our test group: two are graduate students with majors in physics, though not 4D calculus. Two are extremely low-level researchers (ACN 15055 and ACN 15790, respectively) but BOTH have a PhD in 4th dimensional calculus. The last one is an administrator with an IQ of 270. Ordinarily, I’d pick the administrator, but I’ve decided to follow my gut and pick the researchers instead. All we need now is a control pair – they shouldn’t be any trouble to find.

Day Fifteen. The researchers have arrived at the facility. In order to preserve confidentiality, they have ONLY been introduced to one another as Alpha and Beta. Jacob Delano Greene, 15055, age 43, is Alpha; Tobias Lewis Fenster, 15790, age 34, is Beta. They did not have any prior contact. The other two controls were easy to find as well – Michael David Pise, age 29, will be designated Gamma, and Joel Brian Gray, age 25, will be designated Delta. Briefing begins later tonight. The participants will spend 6 weeks learning basic 4D calculus, and then for the next 2 weeks will be gradually introduced to the hallucinogen, with the first “full under” experience scheduled in 60 days.

Day Twenty-Three. The first week of introductory training is complete. As it turns out, my choice of the researchers over the other candidates has proven more beneficial than I thought: Alpha and Beta, who both already have a good grasp of the topics for the introductory course, have taken to tutoring Gamma and Delta. This is not accelerating the courses, but it is clearly allowing for all participants to affirm a stronger grasp of the topics in question.

Day Twenty-Seven. It has only just now been brought to my attention that I completely neglected to include any form of entertainment for the participants! Gamma asked me if there was television to watch, and my mistake occurred to me. I called them together, apologized, and then asked them if there was anything they wanted me to put in a shipment request for. The participants listed a variety of things they would like, but eventually were able to agree that music players and cards were their top priorities. June informed me that such devices would need to be shipped from off-world, and would be here in about 2 weeks. I’m afraid that they’ll have to make do until then – hopefully this won’t impact their course work.

Day Thirty. Friendly bonds are forming between all four participants. I’ve considered reprimanding this, but in being honest I can’t actually see a downside to letting them get to know one another. The courses are intensive, and though all four are keeping well in pace, these first two weeks have proven hard on them. I’ve elected not to take action against it, though I did need to remind them that they weren’t supposed to talk about their lives outside of the experiment for confidentiality purposes.

Day Thirty-Seven. The introductory course is halfway done; everyone is on track. Alpha and Beta are proving immeasurably helpful, and a strong friendship has formed between all four participants.
Gamma approached me today and asked if they would be permitted to contact one another after the experiment ended. I told him I would look into it and that I would need overhead clearance before I could answer, though I’m afraid that wasn’t a truthful response – it was made clear at the beginning of this project that the participants wouldn’t be allowed contact with one another after they left. I didn’t want to tell them and risk unbalancing the situation we have. I do feel guilty about getting their hopes up, but they have more than another month together before this ends, and I’m not actually going to prevent them from meeting if they choose to ignore the regulation. Overhead probably won’t care either way.

Day Forty-Four. Week four is complete. The participants had to be reminded that they weren’t supposed to talk about their lives or backgrounds again. I’m continually regretting my oversight in failing to provide other forms of entertainment; fortunately, the shipment’s due in tomorrow. June promised she’d have the music players and cards shipped to us within eight hours of their arrival.

Day Fifty-One. One more week after this. The music is a huge help, though it appears to have led to some loss of focus amongst the participants. Just as well, it’s only one more week. I’m starting to become restless and impatient – the other staff have expressed similar feelings.
On a side note, I joined the participants for a friendly game of cards last night, in order to get to know them a little better. I’m doing my best to maintain a professional distance from them, but it will set them at ease later on knowing that I’m actually a real person and not just some detached, emotionless doctor drugging them for no reason.
I’ve also learned that I am very, very bad at poker. Nest time, we’re playing for matchsticks, not credits.

Day Fifty-Eight. It seems to have taken a lifetime, but the basic course work is finally done. All participants passed the final knowledge checks with flying colors. For the next two weeks, we’ll start acclimating them to the hallucinogen, and then finally we can begin testing in earnest. All four participants expressed varying levels of nervousness about tomorrow’s activities, but I spoke with them all, both individually and as a group. To my surprise, Gamma and Delta served as reinforcing parties to my discussion, providing support for Alpha and Beta. Morale is high, and all four participants have gone to bed early in preparation for tomorrow.

Day Fifty-Nine. Introduction began today. The hallucinogen is a relatively un-utilized chemical, developed a few years before st.ONE’s takeover by an independent company whose records (including the hallucinogen’s MSDS) were unfortunately lost. It is described to “relax” the mind and allow for a “broader and more complete thought process (sic) about the topic at hand.” I’ve elected to NOT introduce this information, or lack thereof, to the participants. No reason to alarm them with incomplete data.
In addition, the actual focus of the experiment (the 4D calculus) will not be used until we’re actually ready to start research; for now, the participants were instructed to use their music players while we introduce the hallucinogen.
Alpha appears to be developing a slight allergic reaction – I’ve had one of the anesthesiologists prepare a booster to fix this. We can’t afford to lose any time.

Day Sixty. The booster has shown itself to be a success. Alpha is still on track with the others. The hallucinogen appears to have a different effect on all participants, as per dialogue with them after they returned to full lucidity. Alpha and Beta both described feelings of being surrounded and mitigated by the music they listened to; Gamma felt that he was outside of it, physically apart from the sound, and Delta felt that he was outside as well, but expressed his feeling as “incorporeality” and said the music flowed through him but didn’t actually touch him. This is an unexpected development; I’m not sure what to make of it. I’ve decided to record any future conversations for posterity.

Day Sixty-Five. Week one is done. The participants are nearing completion with the hallucinogen introductions; they’ll finish in three days, and then for the next four, will be exposed to the full dose to become acclimated with it.
All participants have found interest in discussing their experiences while under, and regularly update me on their experiences. Alpha and Beta have recurring themes of mitigation, with the music taking priority over their own thoughts. Gamma has consistently maintained a detached experience, and Delta has expressed that the environment in which he exists becomes “infinite” and yet is still a part of him. I’ve kept with recording all of these conversations; the audio will be included in the final report.

Day Seventy-Two. Last day today. All participants are comfortable with the hallucinogen, and their bodies have reacted flawlessly to it. I’m excited to begin tomorrow; the Golf-Ferm equation has a variety of loose ends that can’t be accounted for, but I’m actually starting to believe that the participants will be able to tie up at least one, and will consider this experiment a success if they do.

Day Seventy-Three. First day of actual testing done; the results are fantastically promising! The participants, instead of music, were told to review their notes before and during the introduction of the hallucinogen. All were provided tablets and pens to use, and all four promptly began writing when the introduction was complete.
All participants arrived at separate proofs of the Golf-Ferm equation; Alpha provided the original Golf-Ferm proof, while Gamma provided the LaHinsky proof, discovered a few years later (the exact date eludes me.) Beta and Delta provided proofs that were not actually recorded, but both of which are solid. I’ve sent them out over the “slew” network, and the equations are generating quite the buzz!
Beta developed a minor nosebleed during the experiment due to heightened blood pressure. I’ve instructed one of the anesthesiologists and the medical officer to look into it.
All four participants, as a group, discussed their proofs with me later that night; they confessed that they weren’t fully able to understand them after the hallucinogen wore off. I assured them that the physicists on the other side of the “slew” were just as confused as they were, and we all had a good laugh. I excused myself, and they spent the rest of the evening talking with one another.

Day Seventy-Four. Beta is dead.
Halfway through the experiment, his vitals spiked and he entered what appeared to be REM sleep. The medical officer examined him, and then cut the hallucinogen and attempted to wake Beta up. Beta opened his eyes and spoke “Get them out, get them away from us. The numbers. Them. The num-” He then abruptly ceased speaking; his vitals flatlined, and all efforts to revive him failed.
This is a tremendous drawback; I find it hard to express my emotions right now, a mixture of frustration and despair. I had not realized how close Beta had become to me, and his death hit me hard. Alpha, Gamma, and Delta are even more distraught than I am; I joined them tonight in the common room and tried my best to comfort them. Alpha expressed that he didn’t want to continue the experiment – I convinced him that this was an anomaly and that it was safe to go forward, and that after eight weeks of preparation, Beta would have wanted the rest to continue. Gamma and Delta both agreed and encouraged Alpha, who has since decided to continue as well. The remaining participants are destabilized, and I’m starting to wish I had brought a psychologist with me as well, though this is a turn of events no one could have anticipated.
I’m going to try and salvage the experiment. Today’s data was nothing useful; it appears the remaining participants are branching into theoreticals. I’ll need to see where this all goes.
June provided transportation for Beta’s body and promised me an autopsy report by tomorrow evening.

Day Seventy-Five. The cause of Beta’s death was inconclusive. June told me that medically, he was in perfect health, aside from the hallucinogen. I have chosen not to share this information with the remaining participants... it’s nothing they need to know, and an unknown cause of death would likely just frighten them. If they ask – and I won’t tell them anything unless they do – I will tell them that Beta died due to a previously undetected brain tumor. That’s suitably vague, and won’t apply to any of them, so it should prevent them from becoming upset.
I’m still shaken up about his death, myself. His last words, coupled with his reports about the hallucinogen’s effect on him, have been all I thought of today. This is just a theory, but I think that he might have been overwhelmed by the calculus – that would explain “The numbers.” There’s still something, though – he also said “Them.” I’ve listened to the audio at least forty times, and I believe Beta was referencing an entity or entities separate from said numbers. He likely meant Alpha, Gamma, and Delta – “get them out” fits as an appeal to cut the hallucinogen so that they did not meet a similar fate. I’ve considered this as an option but nevertheless wish to continue the experiment.

Day Eighty-Two. Despite the setback, Delta has shown tremendously positive signs. He has tied up most of the major flaws in the Golf-Ferm equation; his work has since branched into theories that no physicist appears to be able to recognize. I supplied a few to June to see what she thought of them; she told me that the numbers and proofs corresponded to no known data and it seemed that Delta was looking for an entirely new equation all by himself. Gamma has grown irritable and withdrawn, but insisted he was fine when I asked him about it. Alpha has grown distant and inattentive, but is still providing useful data and hunting down the Golf-Ferm flaws that Delta has not yet rectified. I’ve taken it upon myself to talk with them each night to try and monitor them for abnormalities – if Beta’s death was preventable, then I’m sure as hell going to try my best to prevent it from happening again.

Day Eighty-Six. I can’t believe I’m writing this. Alpha is dead as well. When he did not report for the day’s experiment, I began it without him so that Gamma and Delta would be under if something bad happened, and then sent the medical officer to his chambers. Alpha was lying on his bed, seemingly asleep. All attempts to wake him were unsuccessful, and his heart stopped a few hours later. Gamma has reacted negatively to the news, and is expressing increasing levels of paranoia. He is displaying signs of obsession, but I cannot make him say what it is – all that he will tell me is that he needs to continue the experiment, and so does Delta. This was not the response I was expecting, but since I believe the project is unsalvageable at this point, I’ll go along with it.
Delta did not react at all to Alpha’s death. I spent time with him that night, watching him a bit closer than I normally do, but couldn’t find anything wrong, with one exception: for the entire duration of the conversation, Delta was making normal eye contact with me, but his eyes were unfocused. It was unsettling when I noticed it and the feeling of unease lingered after I left. I sent the general medical officer in to check on him; nothing out of the ordinary. Medically speaking, Gamma and Delta are perfectly healthy... exactly like Alpha and Beta were.
I don’t think I can continue the experiment in its present state, but the results we’ve gotten so far, coupled with the unexpected deaths of two participants, has actually prompted a new mission directive – overhead command wants me to continue with the hallucinogen and see if I can determine what’s causing otherwise healthy people to die. Ethics demands that I decline this directive, but when I saw who’d sent me the command – Agent 19 – I knew that if I didn’t continue, someone else would, and I’d likely never see another dollar of research money... or quite possibly the world outside of a prison cell, either.
How did this get so out of hand? Just two weeks ago, everything was on track... now half my participants are dead and I’ve got double-digit orders to try and kill the other two. God, what am I going to do...?

Day Eighty-Eight. Delta has broken through the wall, and pulled us with him. He created an entirely new trans-dimensional navigation equation that will allow for travel WITHOUT a destination ring. The equation uses the gravity of major solar bodies as fourth dimensional beacons, allowing us to navigate 4D space without a destination. The experiment has technically finished, but Delta and Gamma told me separately that they want to continue. What can I do? I have to oblige them, even though at this point I’d like to just pack this whole thing up and never speak of it again.
The new equation should have had me elated. It’s more than I ever could have hoped for, and frankly, the lives it will save during trans-dimensional travel by all definition makes Delta, and by extension me, a hero. Gamma and Delta’s well-being is too far forward in my mind, though, and I can’t take any pleasure in anything that came at such a price. That’s irredeemably selfish of me, feeling more emotion for two men dead than a million saved, but I can’t help it. I’ve put in a request for a psychiatric work-up when this is all over... it’s getting harder and harder to fall asleep at night. I keep seeing Alpha and Beta when I close my eyes. They look so scared.

Day Ninety-Four. Gamma appears to have developed dementia – he came to me today and told me that we couldn’t continue the experiment any longer, and was adamant that we had to discontinue immediately. I asked him what prompted the complete turn-around, and he told me that “Delta is vibrating, and they’re coming to listen.” Gamma would not elaborate as to what his statement meant.
The staff, as well, are growing irritable. The behaviors of Gamma and Delta, coupled with the deaths of Alpha and Beta, have a lot of them growing paranoid. Hell, I can’t blame them, I’ve been feeling that way for the last eight days. I’ve decided that we’ll continue the experiment for another week – no more. Orders be damned, I’m not doing this any longer.

Day Ninety-Five. Gamma is gone. At exactly 2:00 yesterday morning, an explosion and a powerful drop in air pressure woke the staff. Personnel rushed through the facility, and when they checked Gamma’s room, found a perfectly spherical region missing from the room, centered on where Gamma would have been sleeping. The freaky thing is that no explosives residue was found, and that the spherical area cut into the surrounding bedrock apparently with as much ease as the floor below it, like something just scooped out a hole in space and took Gamma away.
This is the last straw. I don’t have any idea WHAT just happened, but I’m scared as hell, and so is everyone else. I’m pulling the plug; Delta will NOT be put under today. Transportation is inbound, and by tomorrow, we’ll all be topside again.
Delta expressed no displeasure at the discontinuation of the experiment – in fact, he told me that it “didn’t matter anyway.” I asked him what he meant, but he didn’t answer, and hasn’t responded to any further questions or conversation whatsoever. I may not have a psychologist, but I know that Delta’s behavior is all wrong. When we get him topside, I’m going to have him see a psychologist, too. God forgive me, I’ve killed three of them and driven the last one insane.

Day Ninety-Six. Delta is gone. While we were waiting for transport this morning, he spoke up. His exact phrasing was: “The others made it. I’ll be back in a moment.” He then – and I say this with absolute seriousness, and will stake my career on the integrity of the statement – vanished. His left arm lost visibility at the hand, followed by his arm, torso, and then head and legs; this was accompanied by a rush of air into the space his body no longer occupied. The entire event lasted no more than a quarter of a second.
As per orders from the Secretary himself, June is having the facility demolished and filled, along with the entire area for a radius of 15 miles in any direction. All personnel have been promoted and reassigned.
It is with a strange mix of excitement and bittersweet pleasure that I learned the experiment has been officially listed as a complete success, and I’m relieved that it’s all over and behind me now. The results are sealed; document viewing will be restricted to single-digit operatives only. I requested that the new equation be named the “Delta-Grey equation” – the name was approved and had been put into effect. It’s the least I can do.
I suspect that Gamma’s “they” and Delta’s “others” are the same entities, and further suspect that they are the cause of the occasional disappearance of ships during Ring-to-Ring travel. These hypotheses have been included in the official report.
I’ve been promoted to ACN 207, and have received orders from the Chairwoman herself to continue this line of experimentation. The new program’s goal is to try to once more catch the attention of these entities. I’ve titled the program “Ambassadors to the Void” – a tribute to Alpha and Beta as much as it is to Gamma and Delta. In one week, I’ll have a facility four times the size of the previous one, with sixteen candidates who this time will know EXACTLY what they’re getting into, risks and all. Though I feel it is at least partially irrational, I’ve modified the mission directives (with approval.) The new participants won’t be cast blindly into 4D space – they’ll be looking for familiar faces. Maybe I still have a chance for redemption. Maybe I can get Gamma and Delta back.
Perhaps we are not alone in the universe after all, although if it turns out that we have company in the nth dimension, the trope will need to be redefined.